Nausea...

Although it's been nearly 5 months since our wreck I still have moments of nausea. I still am constantly reminded of how close we came to losing everything. Whether it be watching an episode of greys where they are picking up bodies off the side of the road from a wreck or just simply driving in the darkness and seeing my headlights bounce off reflector poles, I still have nausea. Just recently I felt sick when during our DAILY conversations about the wreck Kailer says to me, 'Mom you know I wasn't buckled right?' I was astonished and said, 'yes you were honey, because otherwise you would have fallen out of the car.' He said, 'No mom, I put my arms in and buckled the top, but then didn't get the bottom buckled, so that's why my head hit the top of the car when we started rolling. I wasn't done buckling yet.' I literally felt sick to my stomach. What seemed like seconds after I had told him to get back into his seat, most likely was seconds. Now it makes sense to me, why he broke his collar bone. There was so much force on his shoulders and nothing anchoring him to his seat. To think I came so so close to loosing everything just makes me sick. Precious little things I've been blessed to still have in my presence...